Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
