help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
