I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
