Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
