the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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