I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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