tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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