Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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