I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
