new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it hurts more in the daytime
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
