This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
