He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
