I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
