I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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