***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
