I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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