let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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