I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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