And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
