He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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