i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
