went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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