I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
