I wanna passion pit in your ass
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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