What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
