Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
not ubering you a puppy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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