Please, let me fuck your mom
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
