Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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