So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
