do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
