i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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