My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
