Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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