Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
