lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
