Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
