Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
