Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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