There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
