My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
