don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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