I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
