i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
