he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
