haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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