i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
