Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm just crazy horny about you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
