I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
