did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
