I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
