Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
