At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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