yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
