3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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