I'm lost and stupid without you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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