i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
